100: Afternoon tea with authors Joe Craig and Holly Smale

ITEM: Join Holly Smale and Joe Craig, two of the UK’s top children’s/YA authors, for afternoon tea at a trendy London café (probably the one where Joe does most of his writing).


DETAIL: “We’ll drink tea, eat cake, chat, gossip, moan & probably come up with wild schemes that require a lot more cake. We might talk about writing, if that’s what you’re into. We might talk about cake. You’re allowed to talk too, if you can get a word in. What does Holly really think of Joe? Who’s the author Joe fancies the most? You might find out, you might not, but there’ll be tea, cake and chat so what could go wrong?”

BIO: Holly Smale is the Top Ten Bestselling author of the GEEK GIRL series, and the Number One debut of 2013. She is currently up for the Roald Dahl Funny Prize and nominated for the Carnegie Medal, and used to be a teacher so she knows how to entertain kids and adults alike. It normally involves jokes about sandwiches.

Joe Craig is an English writer, children’s novelist and musician. He is best known for the Jimmy Coates series of books, which is sometimes compared to the work of Jack Heath or Anthony Horowitz, and has been described in several reviews as ‘The Bourne Identity for kids’.

About K

YA writer. Voracious reader. Feminist. Home educator. Addicted to tea and Twitter.


  1. I’ve met you both and you are both hilarious – this would be FUN.

    Can I start the bidding at £25?

  2. You’re worth at least £30 (by my reckoning that would be £20 for Holly & £10 for Joe) 😀

  3. Joe

    You are both top gents 🙂

  4. Finally something I want with bids as a level I can afford (watch me get out bid in like ten seconds now…)

  5. Joe

    Thank you for all the bids, this is wonderful. To give you a bit of extra info, the afternoon tea I’m thinking of is a really good one, in case that makes a difference. It’ll be one of these: http://www.drinkshopdo.com/Drink,_Shop_%26_Do/Drink,_Shop_%26_Do_%E2%80%94_Afternoon_Teas_%26_Dos.html

  6. Robin

    Lets make this interesting. £100

  7. Joe

    Robin, we salute you 🙂

  8. Jill

    £110 What a combination! My son went to World Book Day with wires and circuit boards drawn on his arm which I believe was a reference to Jimmy Coates and my daughter has just finished the two Geek Girl books.

  9. Robin

    £120 if Joe makes the flower headband.

  10. Can it be postponed until next summer? The tea that is, not the money. I’m out of the country for a while (I’m not a criminal). If so, 150 of your great British pounds.

  11. It can take place whenever you want. 🙂

  12. Then that’s 150 from me. Cake, summer, Holly Smale, Joe Craig and more cake. Brilliant.

  13. That’s embarrassingly generous. THANK YOU. x

  14. This is too tempting. £175, if only to lessen the gap between you guys and those “let’s go down the pub” people. Just to be clear: I was going to donate this money anyway, and am only doing this to make Joe and Holly feel better about themselves. And for the cake, obviously.

  15. They have a COHORT. We’re more selective than that. More dignified.

    (We’re also open to a cohort.)

  16. I’m a one-man cohort.

  17. I’m excited already.

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  21. Okay, I’m cracking open the piggy bank – £180

  22. Right, this one’s a game-changer: instead of this constant and increasingly fraught bickering, Rachel and I have opted for a bit of détente. After some thrilling top-level Twitter DM negotiation, we are now a unified TWO-PERSON COHORT and we bid £300.
    Still a lot of details to thrash out, of course, like “How much crickety talk are Joe and I allowed?” and “Is there enough cake in North London to cope with this?”, but I’m quietly confident.
    Quietly-Confident-Cohort-Man, that’s me.

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